Tuesday, 25 March 2014

He's in the brewery: what can he organise?

What shall we do, said the Tory adviser. We tried to cosy up to the plebs by marketing tax breaks for gambling and brewing companies as a little tip for them:

and it didn't really work because everyone found it patronising. What we need is to get the Chancellor into a pub, enjoying a decent pint of beer with the proletariat. Like this:

On second thoughts, perhaps not. People don't seem to warm to George. Let's arrange a date in a pro-Tory brewery's tap bar so there aren't any inconvenient members of the public to cause any unpleasantness. Better still, let's hold it in a marginal constituency to give the cannon fodder a boost. 

And lo! It came to pass that we lucky punters were blessed with a painfully awkward photograph of the Worst. Date. Ever. 

There. Doesn't Paul Uppal look beatific. And as for George: well, there's a man who likes nothing better than to settle the whippet at his feet, loosen his cufflinks and sup up a refreshing pint of the working-man's brew. Honestly, he looks like a hawk that's spotted a mouse, or an Action Man having his eyes toggled by some unseen child, or just like a man who can't quite manage to make his face do what the PR man says it should.

What a shame that the symbolism doesn't quite work: usually it's the banks taking the piss out of him,  but now he's managed to extract a pint from Banks's, the beer that tastes of…

1 comment:

Alan said...

Reminds me of an E & S photo of Cameron unconvincingly pulling a pint of Cameron's Strongarm in a Banks's house while unsuccessfully fighting a Staffs seat. He was trying to justify a U-turn by the Major gov't. Having introduced legislation manadating a full pint, the Tories had backed off after pressure from some big brewers.

Unfortunately for Call-me-Dave, back in the days when the Wolverhampton and Dudley Breweries were unashamed of their Black Country origins, they had invested a small fortune in advertising their then policy of serving a full pint every time. They must have loved Cameron.