Thursday, 31 May 2012

Charlatan of the Week

I've just had some very entertaining junk mail from George Rowley, who can be contacted at if you'd like to engage him in conversation.
Bit matey for a complete stranger. But we'll let it pass.
My name is George and I would like to introduce you to my work at Mindsways. I have been working with people, businesses and organisations around how they can benefit from applying mind magic and psychological artistry to their delivery. My aim is to introduce something new and fresh into your existing mix of ideas. This is about you learning and doing something different. 
George, it's rather presumptuous of you to assume that I'm a) interested and b) unfamiliar with 'new and fresh' ideas. The use of 'magic' and 'psychological artistry' makes me think of those very sinister people who use Neurolinguistic Programming to control their staff or supposedly get into women's undergarments. What, by the way, is 'delivery'? Are you a midwife?
Albert Einstein once said "Out of the mysterious we discover the undiscovered". What do you think? How does this translate into your thinking and delivery? 
Did he really say that? I can't find any evidence of this at all. But if we're going to bandy purported Einstein quotes, I have one for you:
Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe.
 But let's press on.
I am currently running and delivering a programme called "Sleight of Mind Set" (SMS). This programme is all about enabling you to learn, appreciate and apply mind magic and psychological artistry to what you do. 
But you don't know what I do. And quite frankly, when I need communications advice, I turn to Thomas of Chobham, who knew quite a lot about public speaking. Your approach seems unethical and rather sinister. Though Goebbels would like it. Moving on:
This programme is good for anyone looking for something different and to stimulate new styles of thinking. The feedback has definitely been that it has satisfied the thirst for new ideas whilst ticking all of the edutrainment boxes. 
Oh George. Edutrainment? For this, you deserve to swing from a lamp-post. You come across as a cross between the 'chilled-out entertainer' from The Office and a sweaty, sad shill. You should join our pedagogy department! Or the Scientologists. They both prefer pseudo-science and propaganda to hard work.

And he goes interminably on to the extent that even I'm bored. Begone, sir!

1 comment:

Benjamin Judge said...

Edutrainment. Oh my.