Rick O’Shea, an Irish radio DJ on RTE’s 2fm , recently asked his listeners what questions they think should be asked on an Irish citizenship test....
• You are told that someone is "going spare," should you (a) Find him
a job (b) Find him a girlfriend (c) Avoid him
• Do your parents ever start conversations with "Do you know who's dead?"
• Ming the Merciless is (a) A comic book character (b) A TD and Mayor
from Co. Roscommon
• What is a holy show? (a) Religious programming (b) Something garish
worn without the wearer knowing the impact
• Do you live in mortal fear of leaving the immersion on?
• Someone says "I like your top." Your response is (a) Thanks (b) Penneys
• If a feature on the RTE news reports that an incident took place at
tea time what time did the incident occur?
• "Story horse!" translates as (a) A child's toy (b) A greeting between friends
• "Bleedin rappih" means (a) It's very fast (b) It's very good
• If someone was a 'gas man', would they (a) work for the gas company
(b) be really funny
• You'll get "some land" means (a) you're about to become the owner of
some property (b) you're about to be surprised
• Do you have an ineradicable belief in the restorative powers of flat 7up?
• When you're telling someone a great yarn and they implore you to
"Stop," do you (a) stop (b) keep going with gusto
• If someone offers to "put you in the pot", should you (a) flee from
the cannibals (b) accept their kind offer of dinner