Thursday 27 October 2011

What those banking ads really mean

Bank ads. I hate them. All those smiling young people in polyester uniforms saying 'we'll open for 15 minutes extra every 29th February  because we really care and think it'll make you forget that YOU lent US YOUR MONEY and we gave it to spivs, liars, conmen, crooks and speculators who lost almost all of it and spent the rest snorting the finest crack cocaine from the genitals of supermodels on the deck of a yacht that we paid for via an offshore account so that the governments who bailed us out didn't get A PENNY in tax. So now you're all broke and we're not. And you actually elected a government which has given MORE of your money to us by abolishing schools, universities and hospitals. CRAWL BEFORE OUR MIGHT, PEASANTS'.

But we're not that stupid. All those ads pretending that banking is about being nice to old ladies on the high street can't hide the fact that these people are reptilian scum from another planet.

Someone else makes this point slightly more calmly:

3 comments:

Grumpy Bob said...

I noted a TV advert for a loans company offering loans to vulnerable people at 1734% APR. Probably they are dodgier than NatWest, and quite possibly armed with baseball bats!

The Plashing Vole said...

BY Toutatis. Doorstep loans were deregulated by new Labour and the Tories. No organised defaults and bailouts for the poor…

Ewarwoowar said...

"and spent the rest snorting the finest crack cocaine from the genitals of supermodels on the deck of a yacht that we paid for via an offshore account so that the governments who bailed us out didn't get A PENNY in tax."

42 words, I make that. 42 words where you've summed up my dream life to a worryingly accurate extent. Bravo the Vole!