Friday, 22 October 2010

All's Well That Ends Well?

What a surprise. The British media have been utterly hysterical about spud-faced nipper Wayne Rooney's supposed departure from the Manchester United team. Indeed, my Man U-supporting chum Emma came out with an appalling stream of invective aimed at out-of-form whore-buying Rooney yesterday.

Now it turns out that Rooney's petulance and the manager's heart-broken press conference were all just performances designed to extract the maximum cash from the heavily-indebted corporation that masquerades as a football club.

Wayne Rooney has made a shock u-turn and agreed a new five-year contract at Manchester United just days after announcing his intention to leave.
Congratulations to both sides: they realised that the British media are so desperate for material to fill the acres/hours of space that they could be played like a finely-tuned organ. As an example of how to negotiate in public, both sides played a blinder, though I'd give the nod to Rooney as the winner on points for demonstrating his importance to the team and making Alex Ferguson look like a broken old man. Never before has a player managed to beat him in the mind games: Ferguson usually tosses them aside without a backward glance.

I look forward to Emma's claim of amnesia…

3 comments:

Emma said...

Vole, I haven't been in your company in months. I have no idea where you got this idea from.
All I will say is congratulations to Rooney for being able to write his name. He is however a striker and I will reserve any retractions until he starts scoring goals.
Starting with a hat trick on Sunday would be nice.

The Plashing Vole said...

Yes, it's not great news for my beloved Stoke City is it?

Ewarwoowar said...

He's injured, won't play against Stoke.