All hail Lynne Rosenthal, who was thrown out of Starbucks for refusing to play along with all their silly invented language ('venti' indeed) - designed to push you into further sales while disguising the greed inherent in the ridiculously big portions - when ordering a bagel.
Now, you might think that anyone going into Starbucks is a willing participant in a charade of faux-Italian corporate bullshit and therefore can't really complain when they're asked to go along with it. And I'd tend to agree with you: if you start the game, you can't complain about the rules halfway through.
But really. Calling the police? The Hegemon has a franchise of a rival evil corporate poor-quality coffee monster, but the staff are cool. That's because they aren't 'baristas' (hurl) but the same women who work in the rather downmarket canteen on the other side of the building, disguised by a badge and baseball cap (despite the absence of a baseball pitch). They're quite unbothered by my requests for a 'small coffee' and would hopefully laugh in the face of anyone demanding a grande venti soya mochalattecino.
Let's go back to the days of a Marmite Sandwich and a Weak Lemon Drink for lunch.
Thanks to Em for the tip.