Perhaps this explains the continued absence of my MP, Paul Uppal, who hasn't managed to reply to my polite letter of 12 weeks ago. He must have gone on a massive bender. Have you seen a man in his 40s, perhaps wearing nothing but a House of Commons ID card, demanding 'Do You Know Who I Am'? Perhaps he really doesn't. I'm genuinely worried about his safety now. Perhaps he fell in the Thames after a mammoth session with Mark Reckless.
Have you seen this man?