Wednesday 2 December 2009

The Black Country high life

Yesterday evening was one of the most expensive few hours of my life. This ball had better be good, now I've invested in a serious (and rather beautiful) dinner suit and all the accoutrements.

Suits are great. I don't often wear one, though I own several. They hide all imperfections.
Well, not quite all. One of my suits was tailor-made for me. Even that one, when I wear it, looks like it was borrowed from somebody slimmer, taller and more handsome. In a suit, I'm still a short, portly product of millennia of hauling pigs over Irish bogs, but it adds a little self-confidence.

The expensive evening didn't end there: Emma was cruel enough to point out that the (long-awaited and much unmourned) bankruptcy of Borders Books heralded a large sale. So off we trotted, she to buy sparkly pink things, allegedly for young relations, I to amass a stack of literary theory, science fiction and maps, lovely, lovely maps. After the shock of getting to the till, all we could do was hotfoot it to Café Rouge (the independent French bistro nearby was full) and stuff our faces, washed down with a fine Fleurie.

I could get used to this life actually. Must find a rich girl. One lacking in discrimination and self-esteem, obviously. I was so exhausted this morning that I skipped my swim, so I'll have to go tomorrow and Friday. Ugh.

4 comments:

Newton Heath 18 said...

You appear to have omitted mentioning the Marian Keyes novels you purchased.

The Plashing Vole said...

Ho ho ho. Everyone's a comedian. Actually, it was Louise Bagshawe and Celia Ahern.

Winter said...

"Well, not quite all. One of my suits was tailor-made for me. Even that one, when I wear it, looks like it was borrowed from somebody slimmer, taller and more handsome. In a suit, I'm still a short, portly product of millennia of hauling pigs over Irish bogs, but it adds a little self-confidence."

- Vole, I admit not ever seeing you in a suit, but if you mean any of these words above, with all due respect you really get on my nerves. Try to have a good look in the mirror once, will you? Sorry, but this just had to go out of my chest - what´s wrong with all you males either totally vain or having no self-esteem?

Imaginary Friend said...

Do you look particularly dashing in your new suit?