But what's this? There are naysayers abroad, people who doubt Paul's claims about the economic revival! Just look at them!
What's wrong with these people? Can't they see the economic miracle? The greatest resurrection since the big one? What on earth could have prompted this mean-spirited attack on Mr Uppal's efforts?
Ah. I think I get it. When Paul proclaims the Employment Miracle, it's because he's hoping we thank the Conservative government. When his local party attacks the Unemployment Disaster, it's because there's a Labour council who should get the blame. So let's be clear: there's a Conservative Employment Success Story and a Labour Jobs Fail…using the same statistics.
Isn't politics wonderful?